Waiting.

   Getting back into my daily 'normal' routine is seeming impossible right now. The things I used to be able to ignore, I can't anymore. I feel a deeper longing to help in someway... To love more. To help more. To encourage more.

   God has placed me in the States for this point in my life. I'm trying to remember that what I want for my life is no longer what I want. I want to follow God and strive for perfection in my relationship with Him.

   I know that at some point in my life, I am going to be living a life on the mission field. I'm praying that God will guide my steps as I continue to pursue His purpose for me. If I go right after high school, that's fine. If I have to wait any amount of time for God's timing, I'm praying that he will give me the patience I need to wait and the heart I need to accept it.

   This past year has been really hard, but I can look back now and realize that it really has all worked together for good, and I know that it will continue to work together for good.

   "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

   That's the hope I cling to. I have to constantly remind myself lately that my life isn't mine anymore, it's God's life. He can use me as he wants, and I know that he will give me what I need to live it out.

   Despite how hard coming back from Ecuador has been on me, I know that there was a reason for that trip, and that reason was to show me that my dreams for myself weren't God's dreams for me.

  I love the country of Ecuador, and the many people I met. I loved the sunrises in the morning, and the sunsets at night. I loved the breezy days and the chilly nights. I loved the simple way of living. I loved the kids. I loved the vibrant green jungle. I loved the sound of the rain on the roof at night. I loved it. Every minute seemed unreal. I want to go back to Ecuador at some point, but it's up to God. If he calls me back, I will go. But if not, I know that something even better awaits.