I saw what I saw

 

I saw what I saw and I can't forget it

I heard what I heard and I can't go back

I know what I know and I can't deny it

- Sara Groves (I saw what I saw) 

~

   I recently just got back from my first missions trip to the country of Ecuador. I'm going to be honest, I didn't think I would like it, but I went just because God told me to go. So many things happened there, and none of which I will soon forget. 

   My eyes were opened to the world of poverty and the need to know Jesus in the world. One of the things we did was go to the village of Santana, about 5 hours away from the city of Lasso (where we were based). 

We did a children's program for the kids in the village, and that's where God began to take away my life-long dream for myself. He took it away. 

   I realized that there is so much more to the world than the States...

   One of the things that hit me hard was how happy the kids were. Even though they owned basically nothing of their own, they were happy! Even though I don't speak Spanish, I was touched that the kids loved me anyways. I learned so much from them. It was so easy to love them and help them. 

   As I was growing relationships with the kids in the village, who had lived in poverty forever, I felt God whisper, "You aren't going to be going on the path you thought. This. This is what I want you to do. I want you to live a life of missions for MY sake." 

   At first I didn't believe it but I soon began to realize that my dreams of going into child-care weren't there anymore, and instead a brand new one was there. My dream wasn't to go into child care anymore, my dream was to live a life of missions. 

   I think that was probably the most life-changing part for me. If the only reason I was supposed to go on this trip was to realize that my dreams for my life weren't God's dreams for me, then I'm glad I went. 

   Another thing I realized was with the amount of poverty that I saw. 

   You can know that poverty exists in the worlds. You can watch all the movies, read books, and see pictures, but until you actually experience it... It means nothing. It's when you experience poverty and are able to see for yourself that God changes you. 

   Coming back has been really hard. I never expected coming back to be so hard. I've experienced so many emotions. I've been angry, sad, guilty, and frustrated. But, I have also come to realize that I am in the USA for a reason right now. God will place me where he wants me, and he wants me right here for now. 

   I'm just starting my senior year of high school, and hope that this year is a growing year for me. I know that God is going to put more people into my life, and the people that are already always there for me are going to continue to encourage me in my journey to pursue God's amazing plan for me.