Something for today~

   Everyday I find myself questioning God's authority. Every time I question it, whether it be once or a hundred times a day, God always responds back with a question.

Do you trust me?

   Every time that question is asked, I find myself pausing and doing a quick check through me. Every time I answer yes. I do trust Him. I trust His plan for me. 

   To say that I never get frustrated hearing that question over and over on a daily basis, well, that'd be a lie. 

But, I realize that the reason that God asks me that, is because I was questioning his authority in the first place. It's my fault that he asks me that over and over, and I have no right to get mad at Him because he asks it. 

   We all need reminders. Sometimes just simple notes or kind words like, "I love you." or "You can do it, and I'll be here to encourage you every step of the way." 

Simple things usually mean the most. 

   Try it. Do something sweet and simple for someone who needs it today. Whether it's a kind word, touch, or smile. Just do it. You won't regret it. 

    

Faith > Fear

   Fear is what holds you back from experiencing life to the fullest.

   Faith is what pushes you forward and lets you experience life to the fullest. 

   Fear pulls you down. 

   Faith pushes you up. 

   Fear takes away joy.

   Faith lets you experience joy. 

   Fear may seem strong and intimidating, but in reality it isn't. 

   Faith is greater than fear. Faith is stronger than fear. 

   True faith is found in Christ. Faith is believing in something that is unseen. 

   Too often, my fear of opinions and of failure hold me back and keep me from doing what God wants me 

    to do. If it keeps me from doing it, and I don't do it, regret is what happens. 

    Regret happens when we know that we've missed an opportunity that we should have taken.

    ~

    We need to get over ourselves. We need to let our faith in God conquer our fear of failure. 

     It's easier said than done. I know. A lot of things in this world are easier said than done. 

    Our fears of doing what God asks of us tend to hold us back from doing what God asks of us. 

    We need to stop thinking about what might happen or go wrong, and just do it and give it to God. 

    Once we accept Christ as our Lord and Savior, our life is His. We are God's hands and feet in this 

    world. We are his children. We can choose to obey or disobey. 

    

     Disobeying God usually means we just missed an opportunity to grow and be stretched through Him. 

     But when we actually choose to obey God, we are blessed because of it. 

     There is a verse in Matthew 5 verse 11. It says, "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you 

     and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me." 

     We are blessed when we obey God and if we obey and are insulted and persecuted because of it, we 

      are also blessed. 

      Letting our faith conquer our fear is such an amazing feeling. When we have fear about doing something,       but know in our hearts that we're supposed to do it, and we do it, we are blessed. If we don't do it, 

      we've missed out on an opportunity to grow closer to God and depend on Him more. 

     Dare to let your faith and trust in Jesus Christ be bigger than your fears. 

    

Eucharisto

Eucharisto~ It means grace, thanksgiving, and joy.

~

   This entire year has been a learning year for me. I've been learning how to accept God's free gift of life and with that comes unending, overflowing, grace. I've been realizing through a couple different people who have really challenged me with things this year, that gratitude is very important. Lastly, I've been learning to find the joy in any and every circumstance of everyday.  

   This year's word seems to be eucharisto.

   Resting in the open arms of Jesus and being filled to the brim with grace, thanksgiving, and joy. That's what God wants for each one of us. He just wants us to run to him and learn to rest in his safe arms that are always open.

   Doesn't that sound glorious? It does. If you're anything like me, you like to be in control of things. Have your own plan. You worry about things that haven't even happened yet. You might rerun conversations in your head before they even happen. You sometimes have a hard time staying in the present time instead of dwelling in the past or focusing on the future.

   One thing that I've been learning this past year is how important it is to remember the past but don't dwell in it, think about the future but don't focus on it. Instead, live in the moment.

  I know how hard living in the moment can be. I still struggle with that every day. But, I've realized that every moment holds so much joy... We just have to be willing to search for it. In the midst of dark day, there is always joy. Learn to search for it.

  God gave us this earth to live on for a reason. He gave us so many little simple gifts of joy on a daily basis, and I realize now how little credit we give him. Giving thanks to God is so very important. He loves to hear us say, "Thank you, God."

  Even if it is just as simple as bubbles glimmering in the afternoon sun. Or maybe it's something like the purring of a kitten. They don't have to be big complicated things. Just simple little joys in the midst of darkness.

   

   

My dream, and God's dream.

As a young child, dreams often come in all sorts of shapes and forms.

Maybe a firefighter, Subway worker, nurse, or electrician...

As a child, dreams seemed endless. They all seemed possible.

It seemed impossible to choose only one.

Given the chance, we would have jumped at the opprotunity to live our dream.

But, just because it's our dream for our life, doesn't mean that it's God's dream for

our life.

Having a life-long dream can be changed in what seems like an instant.

Seeing something, being broken, feeling changed, and knowing love can change everything

you thought you knew.

Everything you thought you knew you wanted for your life can disappear in an instant.

It just takes a situation, a broken heart, being changed, and knowing love.... But most of all,

it takes God working in your heart.

What I wanted for my life wasn't what God wanted.

My lifelong dream was taken away, and a new one was laid.

I was given an excitement and a peace that I had never experienced before.

It was an excitement for a greater purpose. An excitement that God had given me, and peace in

knowing that it was God working.

My life took a turn into a road that I never would have taken... A road that I used to have no desire

to enter.

God changed all that, and he changed me.

He loved me, and revealed to me that he had a different plan in mind for me.

My dream for my life would have eventually led to a dead end, and a feeling of uselessness. I realize that with this changed dream that was God-given, I would be happy. I would know that I am doing what God wants for me.

My dream change wasn't painful, it was peaceful. I felt content. I felt loved. And, I felt like everything that I've been through and am going through is for a greater purpose.

I knew that my purpose in life was found. I also knew that God was doing this all for the greater good.

My dream change was necessary so that I could live a better purpose in life. A purpose that would be far more fulfilling than my life-long dream ever would.

My eyes were opened, my heart was broken, my mind was changed, and my dream was found...

Waiting.

   Getting back into my daily 'normal' routine is seeming impossible right now. The things I used to be able to ignore, I can't anymore. I feel a deeper longing to help in someway... To love more. To help more. To encourage more.

   God has placed me in the States for this point in my life. I'm trying to remember that what I want for my life is no longer what I want. I want to follow God and strive for perfection in my relationship with Him.

   I know that at some point in my life, I am going to be living a life on the mission field. I'm praying that God will guide my steps as I continue to pursue His purpose for me. If I go right after high school, that's fine. If I have to wait any amount of time for God's timing, I'm praying that he will give me the patience I need to wait and the heart I need to accept it.

   This past year has been really hard, but I can look back now and realize that it really has all worked together for good, and I know that it will continue to work together for good.

   "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

   That's the hope I cling to. I have to constantly remind myself lately that my life isn't mine anymore, it's God's life. He can use me as he wants, and I know that he will give me what I need to live it out.

   Despite how hard coming back from Ecuador has been on me, I know that there was a reason for that trip, and that reason was to show me that my dreams for myself weren't God's dreams for me.

  I love the country of Ecuador, and the many people I met. I loved the sunrises in the morning, and the sunsets at night. I loved the breezy days and the chilly nights. I loved the simple way of living. I loved the kids. I loved the vibrant green jungle. I loved the sound of the rain on the roof at night. I loved it. Every minute seemed unreal. I want to go back to Ecuador at some point, but it's up to God. If he calls me back, I will go. But if not, I know that something even better awaits.

I saw what I saw

 

I saw what I saw and I can't forget it

I heard what I heard and I can't go back

I know what I know and I can't deny it

- Sara Groves (I saw what I saw) 

~

   I recently just got back from my first missions trip to the country of Ecuador. I'm going to be honest, I didn't think I would like it, but I went just because God told me to go. So many things happened there, and none of which I will soon forget. 

   My eyes were opened to the world of poverty and the need to know Jesus in the world. One of the things we did was go to the village of Santana, about 5 hours away from the city of Lasso (where we were based). 

We did a children's program for the kids in the village, and that's where God began to take away my life-long dream for myself. He took it away. 

   I realized that there is so much more to the world than the States...

   One of the things that hit me hard was how happy the kids were. Even though they owned basically nothing of their own, they were happy! Even though I don't speak Spanish, I was touched that the kids loved me anyways. I learned so much from them. It was so easy to love them and help them. 

   As I was growing relationships with the kids in the village, who had lived in poverty forever, I felt God whisper, "You aren't going to be going on the path you thought. This. This is what I want you to do. I want you to live a life of missions for MY sake." 

   At first I didn't believe it but I soon began to realize that my dreams of going into child-care weren't there anymore, and instead a brand new one was there. My dream wasn't to go into child care anymore, my dream was to live a life of missions. 

   I think that was probably the most life-changing part for me. If the only reason I was supposed to go on this trip was to realize that my dreams for my life weren't God's dreams for me, then I'm glad I went. 

   Another thing I realized was with the amount of poverty that I saw. 

   You can know that poverty exists in the worlds. You can watch all the movies, read books, and see pictures, but until you actually experience it... It means nothing. It's when you experience poverty and are able to see for yourself that God changes you. 

   Coming back has been really hard. I never expected coming back to be so hard. I've experienced so many emotions. I've been angry, sad, guilty, and frustrated. But, I have also come to realize that I am in the USA for a reason right now. God will place me where he wants me, and he wants me right here for now. 

   I'm just starting my senior year of high school, and hope that this year is a growing year for me. I know that God is going to put more people into my life, and the people that are already always there for me are going to continue to encourage me in my journey to pursue God's amazing plan for me.